LEADERSHIP PORN IS DESTROYING YOU

I’m a recovering porn addict. There are so many like me, and I hope my honesty can help them. Maybe it’s someone you work with, a neighbor, a loved one.

Look in the mirror. Is it you?

The porn epidemic pinnacled during the COVID pandemic. It mucked screens everywhere. Every ZOOM call there it was – ubiquitously in the background but conspicuously placed for your prurient interest. 

Start with Why.

Good to Great.

Shoe Dog.

Maybe that copy of Atomic Habits lying there spread open like a centerfold for all your colleagues to see.

Again, I admit it. I am a recovering porn addict. I’m not talking about Hustler, I’m talking about books on The Hustle: Work 25 hours every day to get ahead but always place priority on 8 hours of sleep. Be genuine and of service to everyone but take care of yourself first because Nietzsche said so.

Leadership porn. Business porn.

I have it stashed everywhere in my house. On shelves and more shelves. On the nightstand and in my office. In my studio and the living room. Everywhere.

And I see it in your offices, laid out surreptitiously but secretly you really want to get caught. You want someone to see your copy of The Creative Act by Rick Rubin; you know, the one you started reading but never finished.

About five years ago an acquaintance came over to my house and marveled about the floor-to-ceiling custom bookshelves teeming with tomes. He scanned the titles, slowly moving across the room.

“Have you read all of these books?”, he inquired.

Proudly, I proclaimed, “Every one of them.”

His retort scarred me and set me on the road to recovery from leadership porn addiction. Do you know what this hadn’t-read-a-book-in-twenty-years-actual-porn-addict-video-game-lover said to me?

He said, “Hmmm, I’m surprised you’re not a better person and a billionaire.”

At that moment I admitted I had a problem. The book reviews in HBR and The Economist were more like shopping lists for me. Every time someone would recommend a book, I’d buy it. And tear through it. I’d dog-ear pages, write marginalia, and turn that into note cards.

And then, like JAY-Z said, I was on to the next one. Whether it was business best practices, concepts around team dynamics, or sales and persuasion. And I’m not just talking about the pop sociology book du jour. Yeah, I read those, too. Occasionally, I talked to people about what I read. And put it on the shelf.

So much of it was junk. 240 pages to tease out one concept. Leadership porn. Start with Why? That book could easily be condensed into a 1300 word blog post. Blinkist exists to do just that.

One of my neighbors is a porn addict, but he doesn’t realize he has a problem. When we cross paths, he blathers about his recent porn exploits. “There’s a book called Never Split the Difference, and the author says…” or “Adam Grant has a new book coming out that…”

I’m just thinking, dude you really need help. I ask him the same question every morning that he shares a review of his recent time-sinking, soul-sucking biz garbage.

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO DIFFERENTLY AS A RESULT OF WHAT YOU READ? WHAT’S GOING TO CHANGE?” I ask.

He garbles his words and chuckles before puking out, “I mean nothing really, but it was pretty interesting.”

“So, you spent, 25 bux and 9 hours of your life 3 times this week because it was interesting? I can assure you, it’s not making for any more interesting morning dog walking conversations. I promise.” Too harsh?

He replies, “I guess you’re right, I dunno” and then we do the same thing a couple days later.

When picking up a new book, I encourage you to ask what do I hope to get out of this and after reading it, challenge yourself with how am I going to apply what I’ve read to my life? If the answer sounds like my neighbor’s response, drop it like a hot porntato.

Keep reading but read the source material. Do you want to hear a cover band or the real thing? Seek books that will entertain or educate and empower. Heed Ignite’s Zoli Teglas here, “Education without action does nothing!”

I wrote a book called Transform Dental Sleep: The Step-by-Step Guide to Doubling Your Sleep Patients, Increasing Physician Referrals, Simplifying Processes, and Improving Your Life and these questions were at the forefront of my mind when I wrote it. What actions will readers take as a result of the book? How will readers change what they do because of what they’ve read? Where can I cut out fat, so your time isn’t wasted? If you work in dentistry, I encourage you to check the book out.